FROM PRADA TO NADA (PG-13)

From Prada to Nada (PG-13)

MOVIESAL'S GRADE:  F

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
	Camilla Belle	...	Nora Dominguez
	Alexa Vega	...	Mary Dominguez
	Pablo Cruz	...	Gabriel Dominguez Jr.
	April Bowlby	...	Olivia
	Nicholas D'Agosto	...	Edward Ferris

This movie proclaims to be based on the Jane Austen classic Sense and Sensibility. Now, I have read some Jane Austen in my time (not this one, alas), and let me tell you. Jane Austen was never this boring, stupid, vapid, and shallow.

It opens with two wealthy Beverly Hills sisters, Mary and Nora, losing their father. All that I understand. Everything after that makes no sense at all. Somehow, through circumstances the movie doesn't really both to explain, they lose everything to their long-lost brother they never knew existed because his fiancée is a conniving shrew. They end up in East LA living with their aunt. They reconnect with their Mexican heritage and find love, all within ninety minutes. Gotta love Hollywood.

Sadly, I won't be able to give you a point-by-point comparison of the book and the movie, which I know is what you're dying to see. This movie will have to stand or fall on its own merits. 

Spoiler alert: It falls. On every single level it falls.

I don't even know where to begin. It's a romantic comedy that is neither romantic nor a comedy. I honestly didn't laugh once, and I can't even identify a single moment where I was supposed to laugh. There weren't any jokes or gags or character development or anything even worth writing or thinking about. There aren't even real characters. Everyone in this movie is just a broadstroke characterization of a tired cliche. They say some lines and you fill in the blanks. Oh, hey. She's a snob who likes to shop. Think she'll learn a lesson about not being a selfish hobag? Oh, hey. She's a workaholic with relationship issues. Think she'll learn a lesson about that? It's the kind of movie where you know in literally the first five minutes everything that is going to happen. You know who each sister will end up with, you just don't have a damn idea why anyone would fall in love with anyone in this movie, or why you should bother caring when they do. There's no emotional investment from anyone involved. Everything that happens, happen only because the script says it should. The actors slink through their roles like they're ashamed to be involved. And they should be. Deeply ashamed.

The last thing I will mention is the directing and the camera work. Good Lord! I'm not normally someone who notices camera work in a romcom, and you shouldn't. There's no reason directing should stand out in a movie like this. But, this camera work was absolutely appallingly bad. Horrible cuts (probably more the fault of the editor than the director, to be fair), terrible tracking shots, and awful use of changing perspectives halfway through a scene. The entire movie shouted amateur hour, except that's an insult to amateurs. And hours. And this movie is an insult to the human race.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Entertaining? Hell no.

Enlightening? Only inasmuch as it made me glad to be single.

SUMMARY: There is absolutely nothing to like about this movie. Even on a fun, escapist level it fails. I honestly don't even think teenagers will like it.

Barney's Version (R)

BARNEY'S VERSION (R)

MOVIESAL'S GRADE: B-

Cast:

	Paul Giamatti	...	Barney Panofsky
	Mark Addy	...	Detective O'Hearne
	Scott Speedman	...	Boogie
	Rosamund Pike	...	Miriam Grant-Panofsky

Barney Panofsky has lived a full, interesting life. There's no doubt about that. But, was it a  happy one? Did he mess it all up along the way? Can it ever be fixed?

Inter-cutting between the past and present, this film tells the life story of Barney (Paul Giamatti), a man who is allegedly so bad and corrupt he even has a vengeful police officer write a book about him and a murder he believes Barney got away with. This film is Barney's version of those events. It's impossible to discuss this movie without spoilers, so be forewarned here. Spoiler follow.

Barney is an interesting character, and Paul Giamatti does an effortless job making him age appropriately. Using him for the entire age range of Barney instead of getting a younger actor for the earlier years was brave, and Paul is amazing throughout. I'm not sure if they shot this in sequence or not (it seems like it would certainly have made it easier on Paul to keep everything straight), but the use of the skewed timeline really adds an element of tragic inevitability that sets a kind of pall over the whole film. It's intriguing, and very European in the slow, methodical way it all unfurls. It will move far too slowly for some movie-goers, and at just over two hours that is completely understandable. My biggest problem with this film wasn't the length, but with the characters. Almost all of them are fall-down drunk the vast majority of the time, and no one in here is particularly likable. They are all mean, selfish hedonists with very little in the way of souls. There's no hero to root for. You just have a fully-human, tragic character to watch spiral ever downward. It's interesting in the same way Jerry Springer is interesting.

The did-he-or-didn't-he murder subplot is interesting, and I would have liked to have seen more time spent on it. I was also slight disappointed with how they finally wrapped it up. The "solution" was a bit simplistic and neat, and also I think it was an episode of Mythbusters. 

The movie has a lot of humor amidst the dower plot. Dustin Hoffman is Barney's father, and he has a great time with the role. The acting is solid all the way around, and the story and style are very well-done. The introduction of Alzheimer's seemed gratuitous and unneeded. The story would have been much more solid without it. The entire last act would have been different, and I would have liked it more personally. I also would have liked having someone I liked and cared about to watch. Of course, that's not what the movie was going for, so you have to respect them for doing what they did. 

Taking this film as what it is and not what I want it to be, it's a well-acted, sad story of someone you ultimately don't like. But for the Grace of God...

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Entertaining? At times. It was long, but I wasn't bored.

Enlightening? On a certain level. 

Summary: Paul Giamatti delivers a great, Oscar-nominated performance, but go into this movie knowing what it is. It's not feel-good or happy in the least.

The Company Men (R)

THE COMPANY MEN (R)

MOVIESAL'S RATING: C

Cast:

Ben Affleck.....Bobby Walker

Tommy Lee Jones....Gene McClary

Chris Cooper...Phil Woodward

Hey, did you know we're in a recession? Did you know people are losing their jobs, from the bottom to the top? Did you know job hunting freaking sucks?

Of course you know all that. Everyone does. No one is this country hasn't either been effected personally or knows someone effected by the recession. You know what DOESN'T make it any better, however? This movie.

Briefly, Tommy Lee Jones, Ben Affleck, and Chris Cooper all play men fired by their big, heartless corporation. Being forced back into the job market hits them all hard. It doesn't hit the audience any easier.

Don't get me wrong. This movie is well-done, well-acted, and well-written. But what a depressing movie! I knew it would be struggles and hardships, but I kept waiting for the hope. Sadly, the hope never came. It just got worse and more depressing. Even at the end, the light at the end of the tunnel didn't really satisfy me and fill me with hope in the triumph of the human spirit. It made me want to step in front of a bus.

On the bright side, I am happy to report that Ben Affleck is continuing his streak of non-crap movies that is slowly rebuilding his tarnished reputation. His performance in this is solid and even-handed. It's not a particularly difficult role, but it shows he is capable of being on screen without being laughed at for being awful. I'm a little nervous. Without Ben Affleck, who will I mock mercilessly? At least there's always Lindsay Lohan...

The screenplay errs on the side of silted dialogue and blatant sentimentality a few more times than I would like, but over all it's solid. It moves at leisurely pace, which at times feels a little too leisurely. I wasn't sad to see it end.

My major complaint would be that not enough time is spent on the Tommy Lee Jones character and his complicated personal life. There are obvious tensions at home with his wife, he's having an affair...these things are briefly explored, but never to the point we ever really understand what's motivating him or why he's not a scumbag for cheating on his wife. Everything is merely hinted at, and not very well. I'm sure the original screenplay did this storyline more justice than the final cut of the movie, but as it stands it wasn't enough for me.

I went into this movie hoping the human spirit would triumph over everything. As I left the theater, all I felt was a desire for Ben and Jerry's.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Entertaining? Not as such.

Enlightening? Somewhat, I suppose.

Summary: I suppose this is reality as we know it today. I was just hoping for something better than that.

The Dilemma (PG-13)

THE DILEMMA (PG-13)

MOVIESAL'S RATING: B

Cast:

Vince Vaughan....Ronny Valentine

Kevin James....Nick Brannen

Jennifer Connelly...Beth

Winona Ryder...Geneva

Channing Tatum...Zip

Queen Latifah...Susan

Directed by: Ron Howard

Sometimes in life, you have to ask yourself which is more important: doing the right thing, or protecting your best friend? This is the titular dilemma faced by Ronny (Vince Vaughan), who witnesses his best friend's wife making out with another man. Should he tell his best friend (Kevin James), or keep his mouth shut? Ultimately, which will hurt them more? To make matters worse, Ronny is supposed to be proposing to his own long-suffering girlfriend (Jennifer Connelly), but how can he do that knowing what he now knows about how marriage really works?

It's not an easy situation, and it's dealt with fairly well in the new comedy from Ron Howard. The screenplay feels a little long and plodding, partially because it's more complex and intricate than you might imagine. It is also goofy and silly and some of the scenes take far too long play out, eventually taking away from some of the humor. But by the end of the movie, I was genuinely curious what direction they were going to go in (particularly given Vaughan's past work The Break-Up, a romcom with an ending not many romcoms have). Much of this script was predictable, but it had enough surprises to keep me engaged. The characters were multi-faceted and fun to watch. Of course there were the obvious jokes and physical sight gags, as you'd expect from any movie like this, but there was also a surprising amount of heart. I laughed through much of it, largely because Vince Vaughan is a bundle of manic energy, not in a Robin Williams way but in a way all his own. He delivers long, complicated lines that shouldn't even make sense (and sometimes don't even seem to be English) with effortless wit and impeccable timing. Either you like him or you don't, and if you do you'll like this movie. If you don't, you already know it.

Kevin James is becoming America's new "funny fat guy", poised to replace the likes of Jack Black (who still has him one-upped due to his huge star power and ability to sing, though he seems to fall flat at playing romantic leads) and Chris Farley. He has carried movies in the past (Hitch would have been nothing without his great, self-effacing portrayal), and here he starts to play around with some depth. It's a more complicated part than he's used to, and I enjoyed seeing him in it.

I personally have always been a fan of Queen Latifah. She looks great in this movie and has some funny moments, but ultimately her character seems a waste for such a big talent. I would like to see her deleted scenes on the DVD, as I'm sure she didn't sign on to play such a minor role. 

If you have seen the trailer, you know this movie and you already know whether or not you'll like it. If you haven't, I'll show you a line. If you laugh, you'll get this movie. If not, stay away.

Ronnie: "I'm going to tell your husband he's married to Helen Keller."

Geneva: "Helen Keller?"

Ronnie: "Yeah, you know...the one with all the personalities."

Geneva: "Sybil."

This line made me laugh. What that says about me, I don't know. But I do know that I enjoyed this movie, even if it was slightly too long.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Entertaining? Yes

Enlightening? At times.

Summary: A little long, but Vince Vaughan fans won't be disappointed.

The King's Speech (Rated R)

THE KING'S SPEECH (R)

MOVIESAL'S GRADE: A+

Cast: Colin Firth...King George VI Helena Bonham Carter...Queen Elizabeth Geoffrey Rush...Lionel Logue

If you are anything like me, you probably didn't think it was possible for there to be a legitimately suspenseful film made about WWII anymore. I mean, we all know how it started. We all know how it ended. We all know what happened in between. What you don't know, however, at least if you are anything like me, is this story.

By the time the final scenes came around, I was sitting on the edge of my seat in the theater holding my breath. Not because there was about to be a gunfight. Not because the hero was walking towards certain death. No. I was on the edge of my seat because a man was facing a microphone…and I cared what happened to him next. Legitimately cared.

I almost don't want to tell you anything about the plot at all, just because if you don't know this story, you need to learn it as it unfolds. Colin Firth is an absolute joy to watch as the stuttering son of the King of England who has no choice but to get over his stutter and face a horrifying invention that's poised to change everything-- the radio. Firth has already been nominated for and won awards for the performance, and there are undoubtedly more on the way. Believe me, he has earned each and every one of them. The character he creates is nothing short of amazing; flawed, noble, and determined. He is a man of deep pride who sees his flaws as clearly as anyone else does, and is desperate to break out of the vicious cycle of being controlled and limited by them. It has been a long time since I have been so engaged by a performance. It would have been so easy to turn a stutter into something showy or really ham it up. Firth avoids this flawlessly, instead making us feel his utter pain and humiliation at every word he has to force from his throat. Not one moment rings false or staged.

The supporting cast are all adept. Helena Bonham-Carter shines as the supportive wife of the future king, and everyone is absolutely saturated in the time and place. However, the real emotional center of the movie is the relationship between an unorthodox speech therapist named Lionel, played by Geoffrey Rush, and Firth's “Bertie”. The connection the two men have, while not immediate or simple, runs deep. It grows slowly over the course of the movie, and so does our concern for what happens to both of them. We want them to succeed. We want them to be friends. We want them to win. The stakes might not seem high at first…pride, status…but they quickly escalate as war drums nearer.

This movie is not something to miss. Pure and simply, this is why we go to the movies in the first place.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Entertaining? Yes

Enlightening? Yes

Summary: Firth’s performance propels this to the ranks of amazing, and he’s supported by an equally great cast. Do not miss this movie!

Burlesque (Rated PG-13)

BURLESQUE (PG-13)

MOVIESAL'S GRADE:  C-

Cast Cast overview, first billed only: Cher ... Tess Christina Aguilera ... Ali Eric Dane ... Marcus Cam Gigandet ... Jack Julianne Hough ... Georgia Alan Cumming ... Alexis Peter Gallagher ... Vince Kristen Bell ... Nikki Stanley Tucci ... Sean

Down and out Ali (Aguilera), whose real name is Alice (Hey, can you guess what pun Stanley Tucci's character is going to make when she arrives in LA?), dreams of being a dancer. But not just any dancer. Oh, no! Alice wants to be...wait for it.

A burlesque dancer.

In a world filled with skimpy clothes, dark, smoke-filled bars, and sensual dancers who don't sing, Alice is something of an outsider. A fish-out-of-water, if you will. But she's a fish with a dream! And as we all know, in Hollywood, dreams ALWAYS come true.

The music pumps and you'll find your toes tapping more than once. I can't deny some of the songs are catchy, but I couldn't tell you what any of the lyrics are or hum any of the tunes. Ultimately, I guess that makes them pretty forgettable.

Stanley Tucci is his usual adorable, amazing self. He's really the only thing worth watching in this otherwise bland movie. He walks through his scenes with his head held high, knowing this is HIS film and he's going ACT THE HELL OUT OF IT. Kristen Bell makes a good villain and rival, as well, though isn't given enough screentime to do much that's truly interesting.

Aguilera has an undeniably great voice, and she belts out the songs just like you'd hope. It's also nice to see an unwillingly-aging Cher get a chance to strut her stuff. The script, however, is a mess. The love story is bland and predictable, the subplot involving the imminent closing of The Little Burlesque Theater That Could is contrived and dull to say the least, and none of the characters are particularly likable or engaging. Many of the lines are groan-worthy, and it's shot in a weird half-light that makes many of the scenes difficult to see. This isn't a movie for people looking for depth or substance. It's a movie for people looking for bodices, hot chicks dancing, and some great singing.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Entertaining? Somewhat

Enlightening: No.

Summary: For pure escapist fun, this will appeal mostly to teens and fans of the cast.

The Green Hornet (Rated PG-13)

THE GREEN HORNET (PG-13)

MOVIESAL'S GRADE:  B+

Cast:

	Seth Rogen	...	Britt Reid / The Green Hornet
	Jay Chou	...	Kato
	Cameron Diaz	...	Lenore Case
	Tom Wilkinson	...	James Reid
	Christoph Waltz	...	Chudnofsky

Directed By: Michel Gondry

To say that Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) and his father (Tom Wilkinson) have a complicated relationship would be an understatement. A newspaper man through and through, Wilkinson berates and alienates his young son until he grows into a directionless, feckless playboy with very little interest in anything other than partying and having that perfect cup of coffee in the morning.

Until one day, all that changes...

When his father is found dead of an apparent bee sting, Britt suddenly finds himself heir to the newspaper. He quickly bonds with Kato, the maker of the perfect cup of coffee, over their mutual dislike of Britt's father. From there, things kind of spiral out of control. To make a long story short, they accidentally become secret superheros known respectively as The Green Hornet and...The Guy With The Green Hornet.

The relationship between these two forms the center of the movie, and it's engaging and funny to watch. I was surprised how many times I found myself laughing out loud. There are a lot of comic book in-jokes and poking fun at the genre as a whole, as well as making fun of these two characters. The banter between selfish Britt and repressed Kato flows naturally, and I wasn't bored for a moment. The action scenes are well-done and coherent, the baddie is truly scary (don't even THINK about telling him otherwise), and the plot moves from point to point with aplomb. It's a movie that knows what it is, and is perfectly happy to be that.

Will this movie have its detractors? Sure. I wasn't convinced of Rogen's ability to play a superhero, but with this script it work surprising well. He's not a hero as much as a bumbling idiot who has very little idea what the heck he's even doing most of the time. The plot, while predictable, was engaging enough to keep me involved until the climactic scenes. I even liked Cameron Diaz in her role as unwitting accomplice and potential love interest to both Kato and Britt.

I'm sure they are already talking about a possible sequel. That's how Hollywood works, after all. I, for one, wouldn't object this time.

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Entertaining? Yes.

Enlightening? No.

Summary: A well-done comicbook/action flick. The humor resonants and it never takes itself too seriously. Be honest with yourself. You know if this movie is for you or not.

No Strings Attached (Rated R)

No Strings Attached (Rated R)

MOVIESAL'S GRADE: D

Cast

	Natalie Portman	...	Emma
	Ashton Kutcher	...	Adam
	Kevin Kline	...	Alvin
	Cary Elwes	...	Dr. Metzner

Directed By: Ivan Reitman

There are two questions that are central to any movie-going experience, and they will form the basis for all my evaluations of movies in the future. These questions are: 1- Was I Entertained?  2 - Was I In Some Way Enlightened?

The first question is obvious enough. Movies are escapist entertainment at their very core. We go to be transported, to laugh, to cry...to, in short, be entertained. If a movie accomplishes this, it has succeeded on a very important level.

Sometimes, however, films are not "entertaining" as such. Sometimes, they more of a meditation. A vehicle through which an artist shapes our worldview. A good or great film can make you see things in a different way. 

The first movie I am going to review is No Strings Attached, the new romantic comedy starring Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher. Kutcher plays Adam and Portman plays Emma. The two meet at camp when they are young teens, then reconnect years later in their late-twenties. By now, he's a young man trying not to live in his famous father's shadow (played by Kevin Klein) and she's training to be a doctor and has no time, or interest in, love. Can you see where this is going? Of course you can.

The two decide to use each other for sex, no strings attached. Why not? They're both attractive, they get along and, hey, it's just sex. They agree to keep it strictly to the bedroom (or, rather, any place BUT the bedroom) until one of them starts to feel something more. Who will it be? Who will crack first? Can this arrangement possibly last? 

It's a set-up we've seen before, and there isn't anything new here. There's never a sense of really wondering what's coming next. Every plot point is gleefully projected long before it actually happens. This is a movie not about the journey, but about the destination. You know how it's going to end, you just have to sit through two hours of foreplay before it gets there.

Portman is immensely likable and quite possibly the most adorable actress working today. She does well with what is at its heart a weak, 2-dimensional character. She gives the material more depth than it deserves. Kutcher is serviceable as the goofy, in-over-his-head Adam. He's sweet and earnest and not much else. The screenplay holds no deeper truths about relationships, no surprises, and nothing new. The peripheral characters are all weak and largely ill-used. Carey Elwes is in this movie, and they don't bother to do an single interesting or important thing with him. What a waste! Kevin Klein pulls in a decent performance as an aging TV star with a catchphrase and very little else going for him. 

The plot jumps from one point to the next like a metronome. You can probably write the entire screenplay just from this review, or from any of the trailers. By the time the inevitable conclusion rolls around, you are squirming in your seat, just ready for the music to swell and the credits to roll. 

THE BOTTOM LINE:

Entertaining? No. 

Enlightening? No.

Summary: Hey, if you're in the mood for a romcom with two good-looking people that requires no thinking, this is your movie. I'm sure it'll find an audience. That audience just wasn't me.